An Irish woman's social, political and domestic commentary
Sunday, May 09, 2004  

Inconsistent Motivations

Readers recognising that one of my favourite themes is the struggle between domestic goddess and external validation have been sending a variety of articles about mommies in similar predicaments. I have been stalling commenting on them because I'm still trying to work out a solution. I tend to contemplate this issue when baby and I go for walks and I try to stop singing nursery rhymes in my head.

However, reading "The Sopranos and Philosophy: I Kill Therefore I Am", one of the writers neatly summaries Tony's struggles, and, I realised, the struggle most of us have; including the conflicts of the stay-at-home mom. The works of Plato are quoted which say that in order to be happy, our motivations must be integrated or conversely, if our motivations are inconsistent, it doesn't matter how much we have (i.e. acquire either by way of possessions or job, family etc), we'll never be happy. Tony wants to be a good crime boss and a good family man. The two will just never go together. The mother who wants a great career and to take care of her family will never find a balance, because there isn't one. If you stay at the office, you can't be at home when the kids come in from school. The person who wants a pleasurable easy-going way of life will never have concrete achievements they can be proud of because they take hard work and self-sacrifice. So gentle reader, I give you the secret to life-long happiness: integrate your motivations.

Which means by the way that Carmella is doomed. She wanted the family at Sunday dinner but also the income from the business. Personally, I would have turned a blind eye to Tony's shenanigans. I'm midway through series 5 and as far as I can see she is far more miserable than she was with Tony. At least when there was a semblance of family life she could have occasional delusions that all was well. As AJ moves in with his Dad, she doesn't even have that anymore. Everything she has is still paid for by crime and her home is empty. And Tony still gets to screw around but without censure or guilt. Maybe Furio will have the "stugots" to show up.

posted by Sarah | 15:29 0 comments
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