An Irish woman's social, political and domestic commentary
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Men in Crisis
I love this....from Tuesday's IT "Males (Men as leaders and elders)Ireland, the group which aims to help men find themselves, is hosting several seminars on male spiritual development."
"Particularly in today's society, so many men try to avoid at all costs the painful parts of themselves. It's almost like not accepting their humanity. I see so many men getting caught up in workaholism and other addictions. There's a lostness there, and many men have no sense of purpose in their lives. What they do in their work just doesn't fulfil them, or they can't relate at a deep and constant loving level with their partners."
Doherty adds: "Women have a different relationship to pain, because through the maturation process and that time of the month, they're really brought into their bodies and the pain of that. Young men don't have this and need something else to help them, otherwise they're chasing pleasure all the time and trying to escape from the reality of being human, part of which is to experience pain.
"In our society, many men are failing to learn that it's part of the human condition to have a certain amount of brokenness, and to be able to incorporate that into their psyche in some way, so they're not constantly going out trying to rule the world."
Apart from the stupid title, I suppose there is something to think about in this. Women do learn that pain is a part of a life. I went through the humiliation of fainting with period pain often enough, not to mention the previously detailed horrors of labour. However, I think these guys are mixing up physical pain and psychological pain. I think we all have that little hole, the "brokeness", the feeling that there is something we're missing. So are we missing something or does everyone just feel like they are? Is that feeling an inevitable and unavoidable part of the human condition? Are we as well off not thinking about it at all and just getting on with things? Do men feel the void more than women? Does labour give us a more profound connection with humanity? If we search for the thing that will fill the void do you just end up doing loads of drugs and having unethical sex? Or jumping off a roof? I suppose creativity would help. If you could create great art or music that would surely fill a gap. And yet artists and musicians are the very people ODing and shagging groupies and topping themselves. Unless your Bono. Oh God, I feel an existential crisis coming on. And I have to write my column.
Still, I spent the last hour hanging ornamental plates and some pictures. You wouldn't have thought hammering a nail into a wall - straight - was so hard. I know all my country folk capable relations thought I was mad getting a guy in to do the first lot specially but you know what - there is a skill to that sort of thing. Hmmm. Do you just spend the rest of your life constantly improving your house in the hope that filling holes in the wall will fill the hole in your heart??? aaaaaagh. Pass the joint. posted by Sarah | 20:07 0 comments
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