An Irish woman's social, political and domestic commentary
Thursday, September 08, 2005  

MPC and Osteopath

My multi-protocol client is working...which means I have even more access to the outside world..if it (the world) wants that. A brief update on my bone issues. My normal osteopath decided I was too far gone for her and called in a superior bone cruncher (a man of course) so help sort me out. They are convinced I must have had a fall as a child because everything is crooked. I explained I grew up on a farm where the 'just a flesh-wound' philosophy prevailed. Of course they could be just winding me up so that I continue to give them lots of money.

However, they shoved by arse bones around and then got going on my shoulders. It was hard going but at least I didn't cry this time. I had cried the week before when the woman tested the muscles the whole way down each leg. By the time she got to my ankles, which were bizzarely sore I just burst into tears. Pathetic. But I just felt like a total crock. I kept thinking. This is ridiculous. I am only 34. How can I be a wreck now? Of course, the solution is to keep paying them and I have to do piles of exercise to strengthen all my muscles so they can hold my child bearing hips together. So apart from self-pity I can add self-loathing to the daily emotional roller coaster because I can blame myself for my weaknesses. I asked her how many pelvic floor exercises I need to do every day. The answer can never do too many. That's just great. I can never tick them off my list or get a sense of achievement because no matter how much I do it will never be enough. It's like trying to please your parents isn't it?

posted by Sarah | 19:33 2 comments
Giving up trying to please your parents is a good thing. Giving up on your pelvic floor muscles probably isn't.
Quite right. Anyway, it's a new day and I am full of motivation and enthusiasm to restore myself. The secret is, do the yoga etc before the washing up because the washing up is a classic Parkinson's Law issue. It doesn't matter what time I start it at, it'll still just be finished in time to make lunch. And I'll do one more session with the quacks. It can't do any harm but there's a limit to my willingness to indulge their dramatics. I got this far in my crooked muscular-skeletal frame...I'm sure it'll do me another few years...
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