An Irish woman's social, political and domestic commentary
Monday, September 19, 2005  

Silence of the Dogs

My dog column has prompted some questions and under examination a lamb-like incident has emerged from my childhood.

You see when we were kids we actually had two Jack Russells. One was Buttons. A really friendly stupid dog. Mongrel of course. Then we came across her one day in actual copulation with next door's Jack Russell (purebred). The result arrived and we called him Yosser. (I think Boys from the Blackstuff was on telly at the time.) They were great. They'd run down the hallway in the morning skidding on the tiles and jump up on our beds. Anyway, we came home from school one day and there they were - gone. Daddy said he'd given them away because they had been driving my mother crazy. Apparently the last straw was when they ate some flans she had prepared for visitors. I knew not to ask any more questions because it was highly unlikely that they had been "given away".

At this stage of my adulthood I felt I was entitled to question my father tonight.

He admitted that he did poison them, on my mother's instructions. I enquired hopefully if they had a peaceful death. Unfortunately not. He said it was terrible and he hated doing it because they were nice dogs.

Then I was reminded of the day that he rounded up a few cats at home. On a farm they tend to get out of control and there has to be an occasional massacre. He chloroformed them (soak a rag in chloroform and put it in a plastic bag and put the cat in after it). My sister was watching him go back and forth around the yard collecting the required materials of death. All went well and they passed out and he began digging their graves. But they started to wake up. So he had to get an axe and decapitate them. Then he had to come in and get his heart tablets. It's pretty stressful killing innocent pets.

Is it any wonder I have issues? Is it any wonder he has a heart condition?

posted by Sarah | 21:44 1 comments
I think you have a title for your first novel: "Enfield Gothic".
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